Trigger warning: stabbing
There have been many things and people in my life so far that I have had let go of in order to become a healthier and happier person. But there are some things that I continue to hang on to, because I believe if I give them more and more love, they might change.
I will hold to this. I am a firm believer in multiple second chances. I never want to run away when things get hard. If something is challenging in my life, I want to give it as much love as I can before I walk away. That way if I do decide to leave, I can rest in my decision knowing that I tried my hardest.
Sometimes this feels worth it, but other times it feels like I’m stabbing myself in the stomach hoping for any kind of reaction or love in return. I guess what I need to figure out is just how many stabs I can take before I have to walk away and save myself from both the situation and my own hand. This is the challenge of multiple second chances: multiple stab wounds.
I drew an illustration of this to help me visualize it, and get a very real image of the more intangible emotional damage that I need to avoid. I included it at the bottom of this post. It is in my typical black ink style, but please be warned it is a little graphic.
And hey. Just as a disclaimer:
I am F I N E.
Lately I have been reflecting on some tough challenges in my life that I haven’t processed well enough through writing or art. I want this blog to be a space for that. I know readers might be able to connect and relate. And I also know that writing or illustrating some tough moments from my experience, will help me learn from them or avoid them in the future.
Life is gorgeous, but it is also messy. And the messy parts deserve just as much space in this blog.
Keep peace and keep creating,
Parker <3
Illustration below...
