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Writer's pictureparker

march 10 _ i am giving up being awake

I am a bit notorious for functioning on very minimal hours of sleep. I don’t know if it’s just a fact that my body and brain need less sleep, or if I have trained myself to be this way.


Here is how I would rate the quality of the number of hours of sleep I might get...


Three hours or below is frustrating.

Four hours is enough.

Five hours is fine.

Six hours is good.

Seven hours is great.

Eight hours is me being proud of myself.

Nine hours or above is me telling every person I talk to the number of hours I managed to sleep last night.


Honestly this scale works for me right now, but I know I should be sleeping more than an average of five to six hours a night. My problem is that many days I feel like the late night hours are the only hours I have to do personal projects. For example: this evening I rearranged the furniture and hung picture frames in my dining room. (And I wrote this post.) Or sometimes I will start working on a poem or artwork, and I cannot sleep till it’s finished. Or sometimes I just look at memes and watch Netflix. For the most part, my creative energy really comes alive at night! But maybe it would come alive in other parts of my day if I managed to get a decent amount of sleep.


Zack is great about getting his sleep. He understands it as something productive to do with his time. I do not. I understand it as a mere necessity of my body. I sleep because I need it, not because I want it. But when we are together, I sleep so much more than when I am alone. This is because I suddenly understand sleep as an opportunity to cuddle or be close together. So I sleep more because I want it, because it’s become something “productive” to do with my time, not necessarily because I think I need it.


I want to learn from Zack and others, and start understanding sleep like this all the time though. If I could get myself up to seven hours a night regularly, I can only imagine the positive impacts it might have on my body, creativity, and intellect.


So as the good Catholic boy that I am, I have decided “being awake” is one of the things I will be giving up this season of Lent. I am going to try to change my mindset on sleep, and understand it as a worthwhile way to share my time.


So now I need to get this posted, and enjoy a solid five and half hours of sleep tonight... I am off to a great start.


Keep peace and keep creating,


Parker <3



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