Hello. Adulthood is lonely sometimes, but it can also be incredibly freeing.
Since I left school, a place where I shared almost every waking hour with a friend, I have shared a lot of time with myself. Hanging out with yourself can be really tough at first. It sort of forces you to reflect on who you are—to ask the question, "Do I like hanging out with me?" What a scary question. What if you don't?
Being alone more often has forced me to take an internal look. It is like I have been slowly unpacking all of the things I've been carrying inside of myself, looking at each of them intentionally and carefully. (Asking, "Does this spark joy?" Ha.) Some of them I find with surprise and gratitude, as if I had forgotten they were still there. This might be an old interest like reading or writing that I have been neglecting for a while. Or even an old friend with whom I want to reconnect. Other things I find are not so pleasant. Like a broken relationships or traumatizing experiences from my past. Some of them I knew I was still carrying. Others I thought I had taken care of, and was frustrated to find I had hid them away so well. All of these have needed patient healing or time to truly be let go. No matter what my solitude has allowed me to unpack, I have been thankful, because every part of me deserves this kind of attention.
So overtime I have learned to appreciate being on my own and the gifts it can bring. I welcome it and even find myself seeking it out—like making time to write this blog for example. It is not always heavy unpacking. It has given me time and space to do that, but also space to simply do the things I love, build my self-confidence, and practice self-care. And if being alone ever gets lonely, I know I have people to call.
(... Or I just watch this video. If you haven't seen it, you need to. It is lovely.)
This is my favorite line. ... "The way bodies move genuinely to beats is, after all, gorgeous and affecting." ... *Sigh.*
Thank you for reading!
Keep peace and keep creating,
Parker <3
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