Debated whether or not to share this one... but I think it is pretty raw and real. I wrote it sometime in 2015, and then reworked it in May of 2016. Things were pretty moody for me then. Enjoy moody 19 year old Parker.
...
"navy blood"
05.03.2016
I spend so many nights hating myself for my imperfections.
Hating the mistakes I have made,
hating the struggle,
the pain,
and the sin in my life.
And then I start to feel all that hate,
depression,
and confusion
spread through my blood.
I lie there in the dark and literally feel it circulate through my veins
navy and dangerous.
And I just want to scream.
But I won’t.
Because I have this irrational fear that if I do scream,
my skin will stretch and rip away,
and the nevy veins will be exposed to the air
and I won’t ever be able to feel warm again.
So instead I clench my muscles and unclench them
and clench them again.
Circulating this thick navy blood
and keeping myself alive.
...
Ok deep breath. Thanks for reading. Lighter poetry coming at you tomorrow.
Keep peace and keep creating,
Paker<3
